Category: Parenting

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Show me how: First-Then-Next

What’s the aim?

A First-Then (or Now-Next or First-Then-Next) tool helps your child to learn basic sequencing skills. It shows them what they will do or need to complete first (or now) and what they will do then (or next). It can be really helpful in getting children to move more smoothly (transition) from one activity to another or in encouraging them to complete a less-preferred activity before receiving a reward or moving on.

What to do – using the TomTag 4 P’s approach

Plan

  • Decide what the first and second activities or objects are that you want or need your child to do
  • Choose the second item to be something your child really likes to encourage them to do the first activity. Worried about challenging behaviour? Try starting with activities that your child usually does successfully and willingly!

Prepare

  • Pick relevant symbols that show the activities you have identified. Use blank stickers to make your own drawings if you can’t find the activity you want.
  • If not already included in the sticker pack you have, use blank stickers for the prompt words FIRST, THEN, NOW or NEXT as preferred.
  • Place the first prompt word at the top of the tag followed by the first activity symbol, then the second prompt word followed by the second activity symbol.
  • For a 3-step sequence, e.g. FIRST-THEN-NEXT, continue to add the third prompt and symbol.

Prompt

  • Give the TomTag to your child with a brief verbal instruction about the sequence (e.g. “First eat lunch, then play outside”).
  • Make sure your child can see the tag whilst doing the first activity and refer to it verbally as well (e.g. “nearly finished, then play outside”).
  • Show them how to turn over the button on their tag once they have completed the first activity and confirm the next step verbally. (e.g. “Lunch done, now play outside”).
  • Immediately provide the preferred activity or item so that your child gains trust in using TomTag and more confidence the next time you use it.

Patience

  • If challenging behaviour occurs, keep your focus on prompting your child to do the first activity rather than on the behaviour.
  • Keep prompting, praising and be patient!

Download this guide as a printable pdf

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Show me how: Communication and social skills

What’s the aim?

Visual supports help you to communicate with your child by showing rather than (or as well as) telling them what you would like, or need, them to do. They also allow your child a means to communicate their needs and wants to you, in situations or at times when they may be unable to do this verbally or effectively through other means. Challenging behaviour often manifests out of frustration at either not understanding a situation or being unable to verbally express wants, needs and feelings and an effective visual communication support can help reduce these frustrations and behaviours.

What to do  – using the TomTag 4 P’s approach

Plan

  • What communication needs does your child have? What do you want to help them with?

Do they need help to:

    • understand instructions?
    • remember social rules such as sharing, waiting or taking turns?
    • communicate their feelings and choices?
    • manage their emotions?

Prepare

  • Choose appropriate symbols relating to the communication needs you have identified. Use the blank stickers to make your own drawings if needed.
  • For help with understanding and remembering instructions, set out the symbols in one or more tags in the form of reminder checklists
  • For help with teaching social rules, try to include some positive praise points in your tag to encourage and reward appropriate behaviour (e.g. good work, good effort, well done, etc.)
  • To help with communicating choices, feelings or emotions, create separate lists for each set of options e.g. sensory triggers (“I feel … too hot, too cold, tired, hungry, etc.), sensory support strategies (“I need … count to 10, get a hug, take a rest, exercise, etc.)
  • Aim to involve your child with the preparation of their tags where possible. Many children love stickers and the action of clicking the buttons into place. This helps to give them a sense of ownership and motivation to use it. This is also a great time to talk about how and why TomTag will help them.
  • Have the TomTag easily to hand so that you or your child can quickly use it when the communication need occurs.

Prompt

  • Prompt your child with a brief, verbal instruction e.g. “Look at your TomTag”.
  • Gently guide them to check their TomTag or place it in their hand
  • Encourage them to communicate what they want or need by using the least amount of words, for example, “show me”.
  • You should also use the least amount of words to tell them what you want them to do. For example, “take turns” whilst as the same time pointing to the relevant symbol in their tag.

Praise

  • Praise your child for communicating with you or for following your instructions.
  • Keep prompting, praising and be patient!

Download this guide as a printable pdf

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Show me how: Timetables and routines

What’s the aim?

Visual timetables, schedules and routines help you to communicate to your child when activities or events will occur throughout the day or week. This helps them to understand what they are doing and when and can significantly reduce anxiety and related behaviours that may occur when these things are not made clear or certain.

What to do – using the TomTag 4 P’s approach

Plan

  • Does your child understand the idea of an activity sequence? If you need to work on this first, read the TomTag First-Then-Next guide for advice on how introduce this idea.
  • Decide which activities for the day or part of the day you want to show. Worried about challenging behaviour? Try starting with activities that your child usually does successfully and willingly!

Prepare

  • Choose appropriate symbols to show the activities you have identified. Use the blank stickers to make your own drawings if you can’t see the activity you want.
  • Build up an activity sequence in a TomTag tag using these symbols to show the activities you want to happen, or that will occur, and in what order.
  • Aim to involve your child with the preparation of the tag. Many children love stickers and the action of clicking the buttons into place. Helping prepare their tag gives them a sense of ownership and may motivate them to use it. This is also a great time to talk with them about how and why their TomTag will help.
  • Decide where is the best place to put TomTag so that it is easily seen by your child before they start the first activity. Do you want them to carry it or fix it to a permanent place like the fridge or a wall? It must be easily visible to your child during the rest of the activities.

Prompt

  • Cue your child with a brief verbal instruction when it’s time for an activity to begin e.g. “Check your TomTag”.
  • Gently guide them to look at their TomTag or place it in their hand and prompt them to point to the next activity symbol
  • Use the least amount of words and describe what the activity is, e.g. “Get dressed”.
  • Help your child do the activity or model how to do it. If they are finding an individual activity too difficult, set up a separate and more detailed skill prompt TomTag to teach it. Read the Daily Living Skills guide for more information about how to do this.
  • Show them how to turn over the button on their tag once they have completed the activity.
  • Praise your child for completing the activity
  • Cue them to check their TomTag again so that they can move smoothly onto the next activity

Patience

  • If challenging behaviour occurs, focus on the activity not the behaviour.
  • Keep prompting, praising and be patient!

Download this guide as a printable pdf

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Going Away – help with planning and preparation

Does your child get anxious about school trips, days out or family holidays?

My son has autism and any trip away from home can be a challenging prospect. This is because like many children with autism, he struggles with routine changes, sensory issues and an intolerance of uncertainty.

However, over the years we’ve learnt that with planning and preparation, days out and holidays can be enjoyed rather than endured. We’d like to share our top tips in order to help other parents and carers facing similar issues.

Plan, plan and plan again! 

  • Try searching for ‘autism friendly’ holidays or days out. The National Autistic Society has a list of companies and organisations who hold an Autism Friendly Award.
  • Contact hotels or venues to explain your circumstances and your child’s needs – if they don’t seem supportive then look elsewhere.
  • Check out a destination or venue in advance. If possible make a pre-visit or get a map and consider any potential trigger areas and quiet zones you could head to in case of a meltdown.
  • Practice unusual events such as packing and unpacking a suitcase. A packing checklist is a great way to involve your child in holiday preparations and encourages independence.
  • Use visual schedules to show your child what to expect on the holiday, give structure to their day, and help with transitions between activities.
  • Social stories are a useful way to explain what ‘going on holiday’ actually means. Depending on your child’s language ability, you can discuss what concerns they have about the holiday or trip and then work with them to come up with a list of possible solutions.
  • If you’re travelling by plane, check the airport website to see if they offer any visual guides or booklets. Manchester and Gatwick have excellent guides and many UK airports now offer autism specific page on their websites.  You may also be able to request a wristband or lanyard which entitles you to use the fast-track lanes at security or access quiet waiting rooms. Alternatively, you might want to make your own visual schedule for the airport to explain the process.

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst

However well you plan there’s no guarantee that unexpected events , such as delays won’t occur. It’s a good idea to have a ‘distraction’ pack to hand. A bag containing snacks, music or noise-cancelling headphones, games or entertainment devices to head off any potentially challenging behaviour.

Consider a form of identification such as a card or ID holder attached to your child’s clothing (such as a belt loop) just in case they wander off or become lost. This should give their name, your contact details and any medical requirements. Even if your child is capable of providing this information themselves, in a new and stressful setting this will be much harder.

Helpful resources

We used the kit I know what to expect going away to make the checklists and schedules shown.

The National Autistic Society have some helpful fact sheets with information about school trips and going on holiday.

 A really  informative blog Autism and UK airports – improving assistance for passengers with autism  has a brilliant summary of what’s  available at UK airports.

  • I Know What To Expect Going Away

  • Staying Away From Home Sticker Pack
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The Challenge in Challenging Behaviour

If someone cannot tell you how they feel they will try to show you how they feel.

Language is one way to convey emotion, but of course it is not the only way: sign language and symbol communication systems such as TomTag feelings tags are equally as effective. People will express their feelings through their behaviour when they either 1) do not have a communication strategy to hand, or 2) when they themselves cannot identify the feelings they are experiencing.

You will have heard the phrase challenging behaviour. And you will have come across the common misconception that it should be stamped out. The behaviour is communication, we do not want to stamp that out.

Consider what the challenge actually is:

  • The person exhibiting the behaviour is being challenged by a problem in their own life.
  • The challenge they are setting you is to work out what that problem is and to help them solve it.
  • Their behaviour is simply the communication tool they are using to alert you to the problem.

When faced with behaviours that challenge you, if all you do is try to prevent the behaviour you will not escape the challenge. Suppose the behaviour I am using to express my difficulty with the world as I find it is to hit my head against a wall, and you put a helmet on me to stop this from hurting me. Although my head is safe you have silenced my communication, so I will need to find a new way to express the difficulty, perhaps I will bite myself, or hurt you. I am not doing these things maliciously, I am just seeking to be understood.

Helping me to recognize and then express my emotions using communication strategies such as signs or symbols gives me a way to express my difficulties clearly to you without needing to resort to challenging behaviour. You need to ensure these communication methods are as effective as behaviour for me, I want to be sure that I get as much help when I point to the symbol for ‘sad’ as I used to get when I expressed ‘sad’ by hurting myself.

The word challenge is right. It is a challenge to work out what someone else is communicating to us, especially when we are trying to do that for someone who doesn’t communicate using traditional communication methods or for someone who experiences the world in a different way to us, due to sensory differences or neurodiversity.

On my course Exploring the Impact the Senses have on Behaviour, we do just that! When behaviours stem from sensory causes they require a different response from behaviours whose origins are elsewhere. Behaviour triggered by the senses can be low level niggly gripey grumpy type behaviour or it can be big explosive behaviours such as biting, kicking and lashing out.

When explosive sensory behaviours occur hormones flood the brain and a person loses access to their ordinary channels of communication; language, signs and symbols no longer work. On Exploring the Impact the Senses have on Behaviour we look at how we can communicate in a sensory way to support that person. We look at how practices such as externalizing emotional regulation and using symbol support (e.g. TomTag) to express emotion can help avoid crisis situations. We also do the sensory detective work to better understand the triggers for these behaviours and how we can avoid them.

Connect with Joanna to learn more about her remarkable work and brilliant, interactive, training courses.

TheSensoryProjects.co.uk

Facebook @TheSensoryProjects

Twitter @Jo3Grace

Linkedin Joanna Grace

  • Back-to-School Self-Talk Prompt Sheet

  • Back-to-School Toolkit

  • Feelings & Emotions Sticker Pack

  • Feelings Tag-O-Meter

  • I Can Do It Manage My Feelings Kit

  • I Can Do It Share How I Feel Mini Kit

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Coping with a family Christmas for an anxious autistic teen


For my son, Tom, thinking about our family Christmas meal is causing him anxiety. Spending time together and creating memories over a shared meal – it’s what many people love about Christmas – but it’s not so easy for an anxious teen with autism. Continue reading Coping with a family Christmas for an anxious autistic teen

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Dyslexia and executive functioning skills

Dyslexia is most commonly understood as a condition that causes difficulties with reading. It is less well known that dyslexia can also impact on organisation and time management skills, which is sometimes referred to as executive functioning. 

What are the signs?

A child with dyslexia who has executive functioning issues may have difficulty:

  • remembering to take to school everything they need for the day 
  • being organised and preparing their kit in advance
  • sticking with an activity and not being distracted
  • understanding what day of the week it is and what different things they need to do each day
  • remembering their routine and prioritising the tasks needed to get ready for school  

What can you do to help?

There’s lots you can do to help a child with these issues. Here’s just a few ideas:

  • Get into a regular routine and stick to it. Children who struggle with time management often feel more secure and less anxious with a familiar routine.
  • Make checklists to break down a task or routine into smaller steps. Visual prompts work better than verbal reminders as they are constant and consistent.
  • Use calendars and planners – colour-coding often works really way to identify regular activities and highlight special events.
  • Encourage development of organisational skills with lots of repetition, reminders and practice. 

How could TomTag help?

  • school girl carrying rucksack with packing checklist attachedTomTag is ideal for all children with dyslexia as the picture symbols we use are easily recognisable and don’t rely on a child’s ability to read for TomTag to be effective. 
  • Make morning and evening routine reminders for tasks that need to be completed and the order they should be done using an I know what to expect – morning and evening minikit or for more varied options try these kits I can do it self care skills or I know what to expect at home
  • Create a school bag packing checklist using the I can do it pack my bag for school kit that will remind them exactly what they need to take to school each day, and bring home again. 
  • Take advantage of TomTag’s colourful tags by colour-coordinating checklist and routine reminder tags with any planners, calendars or charts that you’re also using.  

Useful resources:

  • Back-to-School Self-Talk Prompt Sheet

  • Back-to-School Toolkit

  • Feelings Bundle

  • I Can Do It Pack My Bag For School Kit

  • My School Kit Sticker Pack

  • School Bag Packing Checklist

 

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Understanding feelings and emotional intelligence

Emotional Intelligence – what is it?

Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to be aware of and recognise our emotions, understand and express them, and to realise how they affect those around us. Emotional intelligence is known to be a key factor in success in life, quality of relationships and overall happiness.

What type of emotions and feelings do we have? 

Anger

Angry, irritated, mad, furious, upset


We can get angry for lots of different reasons. It can happen when we feel threatened or offended or when we can’t have something that we really want. Our children will often display anger and challenging behaviour when they are finding something difficult, confusing or uncomfortable but are unable to communicate the problem to us in other ways.

Sadness

Sad, unhappy, disappointed, depressed, hurt


Emotions themselves are not ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Everyone will, and should, experience being unhappy, down or disappointed at times. Learning how to recognise and respond to feelings of sadness in a positive way is good for our emotional health.

Fear & anxiety

Anxious, nervous, frightened, scared, tense


Fear can be a useful emotion when it stops us doing things that might be dangerous or bad for us. It works against us when it stops us doing important things that we need to do or when we are unnecessarily worried or fearful about what might happen to us. Being overly anxious affects our ability to focus, learn, and achieve things.

Happiness

Calm, satisfied, happy, relaxed, glad


When a child is happy, calm and relaxed they will be more able and willing to focus, listen, learn and communicate. We can help them by learning what they need and would benefit from in their physical and social environments in order to achieve that status.

Excitement

Excited, antsy, energetic, bouncy, aroused


When children have difficulties communicating, it’s easy to misinterpret their behaviour and wrongly identify the cause. For example,  a child with autism may display repetitive motor behaviour such as flapping or spinning but they may need this sensory stimulation to deal with extremes of excitement and arousal as much as they do when overwhelmed by other emotions.

 

How to use a TomTag feelings tag-o-meter to develop the skills for good emotional intelligence

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School morning routines

Getting the whole family ready for school and out of the door on time and with all the right kit is never easy. There’s usually lots of shouting, nagging and panic involved!

Chaos or calm?

A less stressful and chaotic morning is possible with a little preparation. When children have the skills to get ready independently, they can start to take responsibility for themselves and their belongings without needing you to remind them every time. It might take a little practice and patience at first but it will be worth the effort in the long run.

Establishing a consistent morning routine (and the evening before) is also key to getting things to run more smoothly and helps everyone to understand what’s expected of them.

Visual checklists and schedules are an ideal tool to use when helping your child learn routines and skills for independence.

Use a consistent morning routine

Getting back into a routine after a long break or when starting school for the first time can be really difficult, especially for very young children or those on the autistic spectrum.

Create a visual reminder of all the tasks that need to be completed each morning and list them in the order in which you want them to be done.

It’s ok to use more detailed steps at first or attach a separate detailed list for each task to help make the process easier to understand.

Keep this list in a handy place in your child’s bedroom so it’s within reach when they get out of bed. Get them used to following the routine step by step each morning and work towards them checking things off independently each day.

Avoid the dressing battlefields

self care i can rememberKeep another checklist in the bedroom that will show your child what clothes they need to wear and what they should put on first. This avoids the pants over trousers scenario!

Setting out clothes the night before saves a lot of stress trying to find clean clothes in the morning. Start by laying out all the clothes for them so that everything’s ready to go the next day and then build up to them taking the responsibility for preparing this themselves.   

Tackle hygiene skills

self care follow instructionsTaking care of personal hygiene is a very important life skill for all our children to learn. We perform these tasks for ourselves everyday without needing to think about exactly what we’re doing.
For children just learning these skills, we need to break the task down into smaller steps. A picture list describing each step in the process is a great visual reminder that they can refer to each time they do the task which will help them to master getting it right.
Keeping a teethbrushing, toilet routine or washing checklist in the bathroom will help your child develop the independence to get ready in the morning by themselves and speed up the whole family’s routine.

Pack all the right kit

pack for school carrying bagGiving your child the responsibility for finding and packing everything they need for school might seem like a crazy idea but even the youngest or most disorganised child can soon get the hang of it, increasing their independence and reducing anxieties that occur over forgotten items.
Use a simple checklist attached to their schoolbag listing all the things they need to remember to take for each day of the week. Then they’ll also have it with them at school to remind them what to bring home at the end of the day too.
Getting into the habit of packing the night before is a great way to avoid that last minute panic searching for homework or games kit in the morning when you really should be leaving the house!

Make your own schedules and checklists

  • Back-to-School Toolkit

  • I Can Do It Brush My Teeth Mini Kit

  • I Can Do It Learn At Home Kit

  • I Can Do It Pack My Bag For School Kit

  • I Can Do It Self Care Skills Kit

  • I Know What To Expect – Morning and Evening Mini Kit

  • I Know What To Expect – Non-School Day Routines Mini Kit

  • I Know What To Expect At Home Kit

  • Learn At Home Sticker Pack

  • Morning and Evening Routines Sticker Sheet

  • My School Kit Sticker Pack

  • Organising My School Bag

  • School Bag Packing Checklist

  • School Morning Routines

 

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New school year, new start with TomTag

Looking forward to the children going back to school but dreading those chaotic school mornings?

Help your kids learn to get themselves ready for school, know and understand their own routine and remember what they need to pack – with less nagging from you and a lot less stress all round.

It really is easy with a little help from TomTag!

  • Back-to-School Self-Talk Prompt Sheet

  • Back-to-School Toolkit

  • Feelings Bundle

  • I Can Do It Brush My Teeth Mini Kit

  • I Can Do It Learn At Home Kit

  • I Can Do It Pack My Bag For School Kit

  • I Can Do It Self Care Skills Kit

  • I Can Do It Toilet Routine Mini Kit

  • I Know What To Expect – Morning and Evening Mini Kit

  • I Know What To Expect At Home Kit

  • My School Kit Sticker Pack

  • School Bag Packing Checklist

  • Self Care Sticker Pack

  • Toilet Training Record Sheet

  • Toilet Training Toolkit in collaboration with Clear Steps Consultancy