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Making pancakes with children with autism

tomtag holders set up with instruction symbols for pancake recipe

Pancake day – it’s one of our favourite days of the year! 

Tom loves pancakes and helping to make them. With inspiration from this great visual recipe guide from Widgit Software we’ve set up TomTag with appropriate visual prompts so he can follow the recipe with me. There’s definitely no prompts needed for eating them!

 

First we get out all the equipment 

pancake equipment list on TomTag and items displayed

 

and then the ingredients 

 

pancake ingredients listed on TomTag and items displayed

 

 

 

Then it’s time to follow the recipe

 

pancake recipe

 

before choosing our favourite topping

 

pancake toppings choices listed on TomTag and items displayed

 

Have fun making your pancakes – I know we did, yum-yum!!

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Cooking – TomTag life skills

bread on grill tray being put into ovenBeing able to create quick and healthy hot meals becomes increasingly important as children get older and need to learn skills for independent or supported living. Following simple recipes provides opportunities to work on reading and listening skills, sequencing, nutrition, hygiene and learning to use kitchen tools.

The key thing to remember is to start with recipes that are simple enough to follow with limited assistance, building up slowly to add in more complex skills over time.

We’ve looked at preparing some non-cook simple meals for breakfast, snacks and lunches in our Simple Meals blog using symbols from our Food & Drink Basics pack.

With the additional symbols included in our Food & Drink Extended sticker pack, more confident or experienced learners can learn to prepare, cook and serve simple hot meals such as beans on toast, cheese on toast, hot sandwiches and egg recipes.  This sticker pack is available as a stand-alone item or included in the In the Kitchen and Independent Living kits.

Cooking – learning life skills with TomTag

washing hands under running water from tagHygiene

Don’t forget to use the opportunity to teach or reinforce rules about hygiene in the kitchen. We’ve included symbols for washing hands and wearing an apron but you could also use blank stickers to add reminders to wipe worktops or store food in the fridge, or use some of the symbols from our domestic chores Clean & Tidy pack.


tomtag shopping list with trolley and shopping bagPreparation

Show the images for the utensils and food that will be needed to create the recipe you have chosen and check you have everything listed before you begin.

You might also want to incorporate a shopping trip as part of your preparation to find all the ingredients you will need. The My Shopping List sticker pack and Help at the Shops kit would be useful here. For more shopping with TomTag tips, read our Shopping Life Skill blog.


tomtag with symbols for cutting food and preparing fruit Kitchen safety

There are lots of skills required in the kitchen besides dealing with the food itself. Knowing how to turn cookers and ovens on and off correctly, taking appropriate precautions with hot equipment, learning safe use of sharp knifes and other utensils are all essential skills to be learnt before a young person can be left to cook unsupervised.

Build on these skills gradually and move on to the next stage only when the individual is ready and capable of showing the necessary responsibility.


tin of heinz beans with toast, butter and 2 tomtags overlaid with symbols to make beans on toastChoosing recipes

Using a set of TomTag button holders and the symbols we’ve included in our Extended pack, you can quickly create step-by-step instructions for numerous simple recipes such as beans on toast, soup, sandwiches, eggs (scrambled, fried or boiled), cheese on toast and pasta with sauce.


tomas carving turkey at christmasServe it up

Be sure to give compliments and praise and encourage them to keep building on their skills. Let them be the first to taste what they’ve made and ask for suggestions of what they’d like to try next.

Serving and sharing meals with others offers opportunities for practising communication and social skills too.


 

Resources

Jamie Oliver’s Simple Cooking Skills website has a simple and visual layout and many of the recipes even include step-by-step photo illustrations.

Cooking with Autism also have a useful site with easy to follow recipes written in simple language.

Free to download from Widgit Symbols is this accessible symbol-supported recipe sheet for making pancakes

 

  • cover image sticker pack at the shops

    At the shops

  • cover image sticker pack clean & tidy

    Clean & tidy

  • cover image sticker pack food drink basics

    Food & drink basics

  • cover image sticker pack food and drink extended

    Food & drink extended

  • cover image download going shopping

    Going shopping

  • I can do it – in the kitchen

  • I can do it – independent living

  • cover image sticker pack in the house

    In the house

  • cover image sticker pack my shopping list

    My shopping list

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Simple meals – TomTag Life Skills

I’ll never forget the first time Tom made his own jammy toast. Okay, so there was more jam on the kitchen worktop than the toast, but the pride I could see on his face made the cleaning up instantly forgettable.

And the ‘nomination for the life skill that has made the most positive difference to my life to date‘ goes to …. drum roll, please …. Tom making his own hot chocolate on school mornings! I gain a few precious moments to enjoy my breakfast cuppa whilst it’s still relatively hot!

It’s sad but true that man (or boy) cannot live on jammy toast and hot chocolate alone. However, learning to make simple meals, a favourite hot drink or snack is a great starting point for developing independent life skills for older children or young adults with autism.

Visual supports and guides make teaching these vital life skills so much easier and our TomTag Food and Drink Basics sticker pack is designed specifically to help with this task.

Here’s some of the ways we’d suggest for using this pack:

  • Step-by-step sequencing instructions for making breakfast, snacks, simple lunches or hot drinks. 
  • List the food choices available to your child for breakfast, lunch and snacks. 
  • List each family member’s food preference as a reminder to those preparing the food. 

Whichever way you choose, here’s a few simple tips to follow.

simple meals, choosing the right task, widgit symbol for cut with knifeChoosing the right tasks

Choose tasks that are appropriate to your child’s developmental level. Starter tasks might include washing fruit, cutting soft vegetables with plastic knives or spreading butter on toast (and work surfaces!).

Move on later to more complex tasks requiring greater motor skills, concentration and focus such as using a peeler, chopping with sharper knives or boiling a kettle.

 


simple meals, talking points, widgit symbol for snackTalking points, an opportunity for learning

Having children help make simple meals in the kitchen provides a natural opportunity for learning on a range of topics.

Teaching children to wash their hands and kitchen surfaces before preparing food or showing them safe ways to use knives helps them to understand the importance of kitchen safety and hygiene.

Practice reading and maths skills by comparing packet labels and counting or measuring out ingredients.

Talk about the effects our choice of food has on our health and lifestyle. Try out the NHS Change4Life Sugar Swaps app for a fun way to find out how much sugar is in our food and drinks.


simple meals, foodie fun, widgit symbol for fruit saladA recipe for foodie fun

Research shows that repeated exposure to food increases a child’s willingness to eat. On average, children might need over a dozen exposures to a food before ever putting it in their mouth, even more for a child with sensory issues around food.

Cooking meals therefore provides low pressure, fun, sensory experiences. If children associate food with enjoyable experiences, they’re more likely to be receptive to trying new foods and eating healthily. Involving children in meal choices and preparation of simple meals can help to improve their eating habits and establish a healthy relationship with food.

Cookie cutters are brilliant for turning boring sandwiches into enticing nibbles. A selection of different coloured fruits or vegetables look great laid out to make a rainbow.

This play-dough cafe we set up when Tom was younger was a really fun way to engage him with the experience of food preparation. Tom plays the role of both chef and waiter, helping to develop his communication and social skills too. 

Listen out for my most favourite comment of all from Tomas at the end “Please mummy, can we make our own food?”!


simple meals, praise, widgit symbol for washing upPraise, encouragement and letting go of the mess stress!

Be sure to give compliments, praise and lots of encouragement to your child to keep building on their skills. Let them be the first to taste what they’ve made and ask for suggestions of what they’d like to try next.

Having kids help out often means a bit more mess to clear up afterwards. Try to be patient and allow for a little extra mess whilst they’re still learning.
 


Resources for simple meals

Get free visual recipe sheets for tasty treats and snacks from The Autism helper.

Cheeriosmilkandspoon is Sarah’s personal blog account of parenting a child with food aversions and eating challenges.

  • cover image sticker pack food drink basics

    Food & drink basics

  • cover image sticker pack food and drink extended

    Food & drink extended

  • I can do it – in the kitchen

  • I can do it – independent living

 

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Cooking skills for children with autism and sensory issues

text cooking skills for children with autism and sensory issues. 2 images of Tom preparing and cooking meals

Tom loves to cook and takes a keen interest in meal choice and preparation. We’re immensely proud that he achieved a Jamie Oliver BTEC Home Cooking Skills qualification with the help of two highly skilled and intuitive cooking teachers at school and lots of practice at home.

Learning cooking skills not only benefits a child’s health and well-being but also builds their confidence and independence and boosts life skills in other areas, such as maths, communication and social skills.

Tom has autism, sensory issues, and movement difficulties and finds following instructions tricky; a mixture of challenges that doesn’t naturally suggest a recipe for success in the kitchen! So what happened?

His success certainly didn’t happen overnight. He took many small steps over quite a length of time. We encouraged him through his special interests (like making lorry and number shaped biscuits) and took cues from him as to when he was ready to try new things. There was a lot of planning and preparation and a good-sized dollop of patience!

Are you anxious or worried that similar sensory or motor challenges will make it difficult for your child to help in the kitchen? Does the idea of cooking with your autistic child fill you with dread?!

Be prepared to give lots of physical or visual demonstration, plenty of practice and, above all, be patient. Manage sensory triggers and start with fun cooking activities that match your child’s level of interest and ability. We think you’ll be amazed at how much your child will be able to learn, how creative they can be and maybe even the new foods they might try! 

Sensory issues

Cooking skills, Tom cooking onions in a frying pan, steam coming off, wiping head. Text overlay "frying onions - an intense sensory experience!"Cooking creates a lot of strong sensory experiences like noise, smells and mess that will affect children in different ways.

For sensory defensive children (like Tom), certain textures, smells and tastes when handling and preparing food can trigger a negative reaction. Other children who are sensory seekers are more likely to be distracted by trying to satisfy their sensory needs e.g. chewing or constantly wiping their hands. This lack of awareness can be dangerous when working in a kitchen.

It’s therefore crucial to identify your child’s triggers before inviting them into the kitchen and think about appropriate adjustments you can make in order to avoid meltdowns or bad associations with cooking in the future.

Tips to alleviate sensory issues in the kitchen

  • Keeping a record of your child’s reactions to sensations will help you prepare dishes that do not include any of these triggers. You can use a simple diary or notebook (like our TomTag Feelings Notebook) to jot down your child’s sensory triggers as well as record your child’s culinary successes.
  • Arranging food or utensils is a mess-free food activity for children who love order but aren’t ready for touching food. Let them collect and organise the ingredients, line muffin tins or set the table.
  • Exposing a younger child to play situations with various textures like magic sand, slime or play-dough can help to desensitize them to food-type textures.
  • Try using thin non-latex medical gloves to avoid skin touching food directly.
  • Onion goggles (they really are a thing!) can protect eyes from the chemicals that make our eyes water. A normal pair of swimming goggles would probably work just as well!
  • Consider the utensils you use if your child is sensitive to sound e.g. replace metal mixing bowls and spoons with wooden or plastic.
  • Offer a long spoon to create a greater distance if your child has food phobias.
  • Provide access to sensory props like chewing aids or textured towels so that your child’s sensory needs are supported and managed in a controlled manner.

Motor challenges

cooking skills, banana being cut with a knife on a chopping board. Text reads "Cooking tasks exercise a wide range of gross and fine motor skillsTom found holding knives and other utensils difficult as the small muscles in his hands didn’t always do what he wanted them to do. He also lacked strength and coordination in his arms which affected his ability to cut, chop, peel or grate. Applying the appropriate pressure for different activities (such as slicing bread as opposed to a banana) was also an issue.

Tips to support children with motor challenges in the kitchen

  • Getting the right utensils can make a huge difference. Try supersized cookie cutters to compensate for clumsy fingers or look for child-friendly kitchen knives – we love the look of this simple Ikea set.
  • Practice fine motor skills by tearing herbs and lettuce or rubbing butter and flour into a breadcrumb texture (using the ‘rubbing in’ technique for making pastry and crumbles).
  • For cutting practice, start with easy to cut food that your child likes to eat. Soft fruit and cooked soft vegetables such as strawberries, banana, potatoes and carrots are ideal.
  • There are lots of activities around cooking that involve using different muscles. Mixing is a relatively safe and fun activity. Try pancake batter, dressings or sauces and for added fun you can even try shaking them in a jar!

Following instructions

cooking skills, young girl stirring baking mixture with wooden spoon. Text reads "start with the basics"Children learn best by example and in small steps. 

Start by teaching the basic techniques such as cutting and mixing before moving onto the bigger tasks like following a recipe.
Stand next to your child and ask them to copy you step by step. Hand over hand support can help with movement and pressure issues.

Having a relaxed and fun atmosphere is the best way to teach new kitchen skills. Find a time to cook when everyone is happy and calm. Tackling cooking when you’re trying to get dinner on the table or your child is hungry will only lead to frustration and tears – yours and theirs!

Resources for cooking skills

Deborah French is a mother of four children, including 2 with special needs. Deborah’s wonderful book The Cookbook for Children with Special Needs introduces children to the fundamentals of food preparation, healthy eating and cookery skills.

In this interview with the BBC good food guide, Deborah talks about her experiences as a mother, cook and writer and her remarkable journey from parenting two children with special needs to becoming an author of multiple books.  

To find out more about using visual prompts like TomTag to help your child build confidence and develop their cooking skills, follow the link to our next blog Simple Meals – TomTag Life Skills.

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TomTag Life Skill – staying safe

With this month playing host to Safer Internet Day we’ve some tips on helping our kids stay safe in the home, looking at both online and physical safety.

Safe online

safe online image

With an almost daily diet of stories about the negative impact of the internet and new technology on children and young people, it’s easy to forget the positive aspects: the ability to learn, to connect with others, to be creative.

Safer Internet Day (February 11th) offers an ideal opportunity for parents and carers to start a conversation with their children about online safety. By teaching children to understand and navigate the risks you can help them to have a safer and more positive experience online.

Start by reading these tips for parents from the UK Safer Internet Centre and explore the many other fantastic resources on the site.

This article from the Guardian takes a interesting look at how the internet can be a great learning tool and includes some really simple ideas for changing how we approach our children’s use of it.

Drawing up a family agreement that all the family sign up to is a useful way to help everyone make better decisions and display appropriate behaviour. Here’s a great example from Digizen.org.

You can also find a wealth of information and advice on the subject from CEOP’s ThinkuKnow website.

Safe at home

Of course, we’ve all been consciously protecting our children from harm from the moment they were born but we have a responsibility to teach them the skills to keep themselves safe too.

Talking about potential dangers as part of everyday conversation and using games to teach what to do will really help to prepare your child for emergency situations without scaring them.

Play the ‘What if’ game

What if … the smoke alarm sounded?

What if … you cut yourself badly?

What if … someone came to the house when no-one else was home?

You’ll get a feel for how your child would react in a real emergency and can guide them to how they might deal with it.

Using some of the blank stickers you’ll find in each TomTag sticker pack, draw or write a list of safety rules and apply each sticker to a blank button. Put the buttons into a TomTag holder and hang or stick it up (eg. on the fridge) where it will be seen every day.


Hold a scavenger hunt

Once you’ve played the What If game and discussed ideas about how to deal with different situations, does everyone in the house know where to find the things they might need to deal with an emergency? Where’s the first-aid kit, keys to open doors, fire blanket, emergency phone numbers? Give each child a TomTag with some items on it that they need to find and let them race to be the first to find everything on their list.

Teach your child how to use what’s in the first aid kit too to treat minor injuries. The British Red Cross have a great web resource to help children aged 6-11 learn life saving first aid.


Make an escape plan

Every household should have an emergency escape plan in case of fire. Hopefully you will never need to use it but having a plan will prevent delay and help you to escape faster if you need to. Anyone can ask for a free Home Fire Safety Check from their local fire service.

Don’t forget that a weekly test of your smoke alarm is the simplest and easiest way to help prevent fire emergencies.

Give your child a clip-board and pen and let them pretend to be a safety inspector. Ask them to look around the house for safety features and hazards and let them help you fix any deficiencies.


 

Know your numbers

Make sure everyone knows the number for emergency services and try role-playing a call so that they know what they might be asked.

Teach children their home address and telephone number so that they can give it if they need to call the emergency services (also useful if they get lost when out of the house!).

Keep a list of names and numbers of friends, neighbours, family doctor, etc. by the door or telephone in case of emergencies, particularly if your child is old enough to be left at home alone.

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TomTag life skill – appointments

Fear of the unexpected, communication difficulties and sensory processing issues are some of the reasons why going to appointments at the doctor, dentist or hairdresser can be challenging and distressing for people with autism.

In this blog, we’ll look at how you can help your child prepare for health-related appointments and develop the skills and strategies to cope with and understand these events to improve their long-term health and well-being.

I know what to expect at appointments can help you prepare for visits to the doctor, dentist, optician, hospital, therapist or hairdresser. Here are some  strategies that can be adapted to take into account your child’s level of understanding and individual needs and will hopefully make these visits more bearable for everyone.

doctor symbolPrepare                                                                        

See if you can arrange some ‘friendly’ visits before the actual appointment so that your child can become familiar with the surroundings – perhaps they can be shown the equipment that is used, sit in the chair, etc. This will help to de-sensitise your child and can flag up issues you may not have considered so that you can address them before going to the real appointment. It will also give you an opportunity to explain to the professional about the particular needs of your child and tell them some of the things they can do to help.

It’s a good idea to try to schedule appointments for when your child is likely to be at their best and when the surgery or salon is quietest – appointments early in the day are often a good choice and you’re less likely to be kept waiting from earlier bookings running over.


comb hair symbolFamiliarise

Try out some role-play at home to start with. See if your child will let you put your hand in their mouth to count their teeth before going to the dentist. Show what happens at the hairdressers by sitting them in front of a mirror with a towel around the neck to comb their hair.

For many children it can be helpful to watch another person having the experience first to get an insight into what to expect. Make a video or take your child along with you when a sibling or friend needs a hair cut or doctor’s check-up. Showing them getting a small treat or reward afterwards is a good incentive too!


hair cut symbolVisualise                                                  

Prepare a visual support (like TomTag) that you can use to explain the order of events and what is likely to happen during the visit. Talk through the events with your child before you go to help reduce their anxiety about what to expect and take the support with you so that you can refer to it again once you’re there.

 


reading story symbolRead it

You might want to try writing a short social story to explain what usually happens on a visit to the hairdressers, dentist, etc. or find basic story books about the subject. We found the Topsy and Tim series particularly popular with Tom!

Check out Living Well With Autism for lots of free downloadable visual support and social story ideas for dentist visits and this lovely story Suzie goes to the hairdresser from Suzie Books.


show and tell symbolCommunication

Talk to the professional you are visiting about the Tell – Show – Do approach,  a technique often used by dentists with young patients to help reduce fear and anxiety about dental examinations.

First they should TELL your child what they are going to do using clear and simple language, supporting verbal language with visual supports if necessary (remember to take TomTag with you!). Next they SHOW the equipment and action involved – a dentist might lightly touch his scraper on the back of the child’s hand to demonstrate the sensation, for example. Now they are ready to DO the action for real.

The Toothpick blog have teamed up with Anna Kennedy to compile a list of autism friendly dental practices in the UK that are recommended by other parents.


well done symbolSensory sensitivities

There will be many potential sensory triggers in these unfamiliar environments that can cause your child anxiety and stress. They’ll be experiencing unusual sounds and smells, there will be strangers in close proximity and the professional will most likely need to touch parts of the child’s body. Bring headphones or music if noises are upsetting and favourite comforting items such as toys, books or computer games. Letting your child know how long the appointment is going to last using some sort of timer might also help.


Ask staff to praise your child immediately and ignore any inappropriate behaviour. Try and stay as calm as possible yourself and use a reassuring, steady voice to help your child relax and get through the experience.

For a more detailed look at strategies, the National Autistic Society have some useful information sheets to help children with autism prepare for trips to the hairdresserdoctor or dentist.

If you’re interested in creating your own TomTag visual supports for appointments  please click on the products listed below.

  • cover image sticker pack haircuts and health checks

    Haircuts & health checks

  • cover image kit at appointments

    I know what to expect at appointments

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TomTag life skill – shopping

help at the shops tag image 2

Shopping with my son, who has autism, was often the stuff of nightmares! Confused, frustrated and overwhelmed by the bright lights, strong smells and noisy crowds he would scream, run for the exit knocking over displays, leaving a trail of destruction and disapproving glares from other shoppers in his wake. 

Shopping online seemed to be the only solution – why would anyone put their  child (and themselves!)  through this challenge on a regular basis? Put simply, a shopping trip can help develop life skills. The need to plan and organise; the necessity of buying food and the pleasure of choosing what you want to eat; interacting with others – all things I felt were essential and that he deserved for his future.

So, how can you change a shopping trip from a nightmare into a positive, dare I say it, maybe even a fun experience? Here are some of the strategies that we used.

Be prepared

Shopping visual timeline examplesVisual timelines

Create timelines using TomTag to show the different stages of a shopping trip and make sure to talk through them with your child before you go. Knowing what to expect can greatly help to reduce anxiety and stress for a child with autism. The amount of detail needed in your timeline will vary with each child. Use FIRST – THEN prompts in a single tag at the simplest level or link 2 tags together to create a more detailed shopping trip sequence like the ones shown here.

Routine

For my son, the route to the shops was really important to his routine too – try to stick to the same one each time if possible to help prevent distress before you even get to the shops! Include the route or what transport you will use in your timeline as well.

Don’t forget to include a visual prompt to define that there will be a point when the shopping trip will finish too (maybe the home symbol, for example) – cue relief all round!

Make a list

shopping list checklist

Shopping with a list is a good discipline for anyone to adopt. It can save us time and money as we’re more likely to only buy the things we really need.

You can introduce different skills by involving your child in preparing your shopping list. They can learn to budget and prioritise by only including the items that are needed for a meal or recipe. Perhaps they want something that’s not on the list – maybe offer to add it next time if they are good this time to teach delayed gratification.

Taking a prepared list will also help to keep a child engaged whilst shopping as they search for and check things off their list. They’re learning to be responsible and it helps them to realise they can have a role to play in everyday family tasks.

Educate

shopping counting skillsShopping provides a wealth of educational opportunities. Here are just a few examples:

Matching – finding items on the shelf that match the items on their list.

Counting – use a different coloured tag to show how many of each item you need to buy and have them put the right number into the trolley, like this example using apples and oranges.

Calculating – working out the best value choice often involves quite complex calculations, particularly with 3-for-2, half price and BOGOFs (buy one get one free) to compare!

Making healthy choices – reading and understanding food labels is a key starting point to being able to select healthier options.

Sensory considerations

Loud sounds, overwhelming smells and flickering lights can be particularly confusing and frightening for a child with sensory issues. If your child has trouble processing light or noises then provide some sensory armour such as sunglasses, ear defenders or a baseball cap to reduce the potential of sensory overload.

Keep a visual list handy so your child can show you what they are having problems with (too bright, too noisy, thirsty, hungry etc.). Pair it with a list of strategy symbols (deep breath, count to 10, need to leave, etc.) that remind them of suitable self-help solutions.

Behaviour

Allowing for any sensory issues, explain the expectations for behaviour when going shopping and inside shops. Be prepared that your child may not get it right first time, or every time – be patient, practice and remember to praise them when things do go well.

Prepare a visual prompt and talk through the rules before you go. Take the tag with you as a handy reminder should you need it when you’re out and about.

Role play

shoe shop what to expect tagShopping for shoes and clothes with a child with autism can often be particularly difficult and require specific explanation of what to expect before you go.

Try role playing the shopping experience at home first. For example, if you need to shop for shoes you’ll most likely need to get their feet measured as well. Practice having your child let you take off their shoes and touch their feet as the assistant in the shop might do. This will help you know what triggers any specific reaction and then prepare for how to deal with it.

Use a visual timeline to help you talk about what’s going to happen. Take it with you to use as a reminder of the process once you’re there.

John Lewis have recently introduced an autism-friendly shoe fitting service in some of their stores. Do you know of any other local or national shops offering this kind of service to autism families that you’d like to recommend?

Resources

For a more detailed look at strategies to help children with autism cope with shopping trips see this great resource from the National Autistic Society.

If you want to make your own schedules and checklists like the ones  shown in the examples here have a look at the kits and symbol packs listed below.

  • cover image sticker pack at the shops

    At the shops

  • cover image sticker pack food drink basics

    Food & drink basics

  • cover image sticker pack food and drink extended

    Food & drink extended

  • cover image download going shopping

    Going shopping

  • product cover help at shops

    I can do it – help at the shops

  • I can do it – independent living

  • cover image what to expect going shopping

    I know what to expect going shopping

  • cover image sticker pack my shopping list

    My shopping list

  • cover image sticker pack out & about

    Out & about

  • cover image sticker pack shopping for clothes and shoes

    Shopping for clothes & shoes

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TomTag life skill – Sleepovers

LIFE SKILL JAN sleepoversSleepovers –  or more accurately ‘stay up late, midnight feast, pillow fights and no-sleep’-overs! First sleepovers are a big step for most kids anyway and can be a particularly daunting prospect and social minefield for children with autism (and their parents!).

Of course, you are the best person to gauge when your child might be ready for their first sleepover or night away and there’s usually no reason to rush this. There may be unavoidable times though when your child needs to stay away from home for other reasons – parental separation, overnight respite or a hospital stay, for example. If skills have already been practiced or preparations made, dealing with an emergency visit could be a lot less stressful for everyone involved.

Careful planning and thorough preparation is the key to ensuring your child’s overnight stay has more chance of being a successful and happy experience. Using your TomTag button holders and our In the house and Staying away from home symbols, you can create handy visual supports that will help prepare your child and ease any anxieties about their next stay away from home, wherever that may be.

Here are our top tips for sleepover success but we’d love to hear your stories and advice too!

Plan, plan and plan again

sleeping bagsleepover 1Ask the host parent questions about meal plans, activities and where your child will sleep and use this information to prepare your child as much as possible.

Try role playing events such as getting up in the night for the toilet or asking for a drink. Social stories are a great resource that help explain what your child can expect in common social situations. Read A Parents Guide to Social Stories from the ‘Normal Enough’ blog for a great explanation about creating your own, including a brilliant example of a sleepover story.

** UPDATE ** Normal Enough blog link broken – try these ideas from Child-Autism-Parent-Cafe

You might also want to try using a visual timeline like this one to show your child what to expect.

Do a test run

bed time

Everything’s easier second time around, right?

Invite a friend for an overnight stay at your home so that your child gets used to how a sleepover works in a familiar environment. Then perhaps try again at the home of a close family member.

Hopefully these practice runs will help iron out any anxieties and give your child confidence for the real thing.

Make an escape plan

car

Let your child know that it’s ok to call you and come home if they need to at any time. If your child is feeling anxious or scared, it’s better that they know they can come home and try again another time than stay feeling worried and be put off the idea for good.

 

 

All about me

mobile phoneShare as much relevant information as possible about your child with the host parent before the event. Make sure they have your correct telephone number and ideally a back-up number to call as well just in case.

Include details of any medical needs, allergies and potential challenges or sensory triggers such as loud noises or food preferences. Your advice on strategies for comforting your child at bedtime and handling any flare ups will help the sleepover run more smoothly.

Time to pack

packsleepover 2Don’t forget to pack a favourite blanket, toy or book – anything that makes the child feel comfortable which will help ease any anxiety. Ask the host parent to let your child keep to their familiar bedtime routine as much as they want to.

TomTag is perfect for making a packing checklist of all the items they need to take and a handy reminder when they need to bring everything home again too!

 

Keep trying

thank youIf at first you don’t succeed – keep trying!

Let your child know you’re proud of them for giving it a go even if they needed to bail out. Tell them it’s not a failure if they did come home early and that with more practice it will get easier. Talk through what any difficulties were and make an action plan for next time.

Remember to thank the host friend and parents for helping and let them know how much you value their support.

 

 

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TomTag life skill – coping with Christmas

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year” – but not for everyone.

LIFE SKILL dec coping with christmasChristmas can be a magical and exciting time but for many children with autism the festive period is anything but wonderful. Changes in routine, a house pulsating with flashing Christmas lights and a steady stream of visitors can be overwhelming and lead to sensory overload, anxiety, distress and confusion.

Making adjustments to help your child cope better with this time of the year will hopefully allow all the family to have a more enjoyable experience. It can also provide some valuable learning experiences that help to build those all-important social skills.

We’ve introduced a Christmas and Birthdays sticker pack that contains useful symbols to help you prepare for the festive season and other celebrations. Here are our tips for using these visual supports along with some simple strategies.christmas tag 1

christmas 1Just another day

Keep to the same familiar routines as much as possible, even on Christmas Day. There’s no rules to say things have to be done a certain way – do it the way that suits your family best. If different or unusual foods might be an issue, think about preparing and freezing your child’s favourite meal ahead of time so it’s easy to serve alongside everyone else’s dinner.


christmas 2No surprises

It won’t be possible (or necessarily desirable) to avoid disturbances to routine at home or school altogether. Children who struggle with changes to routine can find this very unsettling but you can use a visual timeline like the example here to prepare them for when something unexpected will be happening.


christmas 3Decorations

Flashing lights, glittery objects and jingling bells can all spark sensory overload. Let your child help to choose the decorations you buy and put up and consider decorating gradually over a few days so they are not overwhelmed immediately. Make sure to leave some areas of the house undecorated so there’s always somewhere for the child to retreat to if necessary.

Use symbols showing items traditionally associated with the event to make an “All about Christmas” list that can help familiarise your child with what to expect.


christmas 4Social expectations

christmas tag 2Christmas is usually a time of increased social contact and events with family and friends. Use TomTag as a scheduler to help your child prepare for visitors to the house or for visits to family and perhaps keep a separate tag as a checklist to show all the family members they may be meeting.

We’ve also included symbols that can be used to reinforce positive social behaviour. Build a tag to use as a reminder for how to greet visitors to the house or to remind them when to say please and thank you.


christmas 5Presents

Many children with autism struggle with surprises and aren’t good at faking delight if they get an unwanted gift. You could leave their presents unwrapped or if they like unwrapping gifts tell them what’s inside first.

They may also be overwhelmed by a large number of presents – try introducing them one at a time or even adopting an advent calendar-style approach, letting them open a small gift each day in the run up to Christmas.

Don’t forget to put batteries in toys in advance so that they can be played with straight away!


christmas 6

Relax!

Above all, try to remember that this is your Christmas as well. If you’re in a good mood and happy, those around you are more likely to be too. Try to share out the workload – try out our Food & Drink stickers and enlist some help with peeling and chopping all that veg!

 

Other resources

The NAS has compiled a list of tips to help you through the festive period.

Do you have any great tips you can share?

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TomTag life skill – household chores

We often find that it’s quicker and easier to do household chores ourselves but getting kids involved when they’re young (and eager!) will set them up well for later life.

LIFE SKILL octoberChildren learn how to look after themselves and their home and become familiar with concepts such as teamwork and the discipline of routine. Sharing out the housework has the added bonus that it saves you time and stress too.

With the latest addition to our sticker range – Clean & Tidy – TomTag is now an ideal tool for helping children understand and learn about domestic chores. Here’s some ideas of how you might use it:-

  • Use a set of tags to give step-by-step instructions for cleaning different rooms in the house.
  • Label a tag with the name of each child and list the chores they need to complete that day/week.
  • List the jobs you want completing on separate tags and let each child pick a tag out of a hat to find out what their task is.

Start them young

Building good habits from an early age always makes things easier in the long run. Children as young as 2 years old can pick up their own toys, put dirty clothes in a washing basket and wield a duster.

 

 


Make it fun

Turning tasks into a game always makes things more fun. Turn the radio up and dance while hoovering, shout out colour names when sorting laundry or let kids compete to be the first to tidy their room (to your standard!).


The right chores

This will naturally depend on your child’s age and developmental level. You’ll find plenty of guides online but you’re the best judge of what your child’s ready for. Build up gradually to the more difficult tasks so they don’t get frustrated if they can’t complete the task independently. Our Pinterest Household Chores board has lots of ideas for age-appropriate chores.

 


A family affair

Set a good example by making sure that everyone helps out – in an age-appropriate way. If you child is old enough, involve them in a family discussion to decide who should do what around the house. Offer options so that children can choose the jobs they prefer. If no-one wants to do a particular task (such as cleaning the toilet!), use a rota system so that everyone takes a turn.

 


Praise and encouragement

Don’t expect perfection, especially at first or if they are very young. Praise those things they did well and they’ll feel proud of what they got right and motivated to do the job again next time. Tell them how much it helped you and they’ll feel they are making an important contribution to the family.

 


Reward

This will depend on your own family values and views but if you want to add an extra incentive, chores can be linked to giving pocket money or earning other treats. Use a blank sticker to add a £ button to each chore checklist, like this one for helping out at mealtimes and doing the dishes.

mealtime chore photo